The Tory Party » Casting Call

Casting Call – Jeff Buckley and James Franco

Tory — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 19:47:03 +0000

Yeah, I still got it.

And I didn’t have to resize these images or even look very hard for them. IT WAS DESTINY.

MAKE BIOPIC IMMEDS PLS KTHX.

Casting Call 11 – Eyebrows Edition

Tory — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 01:28:45 +0000

After long hiatus, lucky eleven. Hotties, Brits, and peeps from Lost.

Teh sex4y!
They can squint into a wide angle lens and still look good. Rareness.
I warned you.

	I rule!

Someone needs to take charge of getting better pictures of Iben Hjejle up so I can steal them.

	Quick story: some film student told a story about physically bumping into Ron Perlman at some get-together, and Ron Perlman was unhappy about it and made a frowny face at him or something. So this film student was like, “Yeah, that Ron Perlman, he’s a jerk.” But check it — when you’re the biggest dude in the room, every drunk jerk wants to pick a fight with you. Multiply that by famous. Then multiply that by famous-for-playing-tough-guys, and you’ve got someone who can never go drinkin’. So when somebody bumps into you at a party (and you’re Ron Perlman, so it’s not like they didn’t see you standing there), then you’re probably going to be unhappy with them as a pre-emptive strike at least. So that’s what I think. Addendum, 2005/18/08: *Don’t Multiply it by the fact that Mr. Perleman’s visage is a heavy-browed one and that he frequently looks like is he is growly or frowning, even when he isn’t! A botox candidate if I ever saw one. – Aunti

	Maybe they are the sa-a-a-ame. I couldn’t really find pictures to show the likeness, but it’s there. Oh yes. It’s there.
	Okay. This one is much better. I am pwned.

Casting Call 10 – Chins and Dimples

Tory — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 01:27:33 +0000

Ten… ten… TEN Casting Calls! Ah ah ah!

	You’d think someone with a career as long and varied as Mary Steenburgen would have better pictures to choose from, but WOTEVER.


	One is a god and one is the devil. Can you figure out which? Also note Barbara has had her nose and chin edited to achieve the Cox effect.
	Looks like Ryan Phillipe didn’t make a face, but it stuck like that anyway.

	Spooky tortured scientist eyes redux!
Phil Lamarr is teh hottness.

Casting Call 9 – Hottie Edition

Tory — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 01:26:47 +0000

Teh Hottness.

Remember that time Mark Ruffalo was in In the Cut, 13 Going On 30, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Collateral as four totally different, age-shifting characters? Rock on, Ruffalo.	Ruffalo + chiseled = Bratt
Who looks this good in a 3/4 shot? Nobody, that’s who.
It’s almost like they’re from the same region. And, yeah, I totally snarfed the Lundgren image from The Onion.	Also a little like Ann Wilson (of Heart), but I couldn’t find a good picture.
	Noticed because both of them look like my heckling partner. My friends are teh hottness!!!1 Although the heckling partner does not list to the right thusly.

Yay for good casting!
Heh — McConaughey Johnson. Where’s the bongo drum?


I so nearly peed.

Casting Call 8

Tory — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 01:24:23 +0000

Watch me try to keep my politics out of my Casting Call.

	The blond versions of each, anyway. Jessica Simpson could be in here, too.
Does this mean in four years Dean will also be tongue-kissing Karl Rove?	When I see my beautiful wife slandered in South Carolina… I just go BERSERK!
I ain’t hatin’. Dude’s wrinkly, is all.	Sidebar: My sister’s a doctor, so it’s not all glee and cobbler at the Hoke house about Edwards’ nomination. But still — the dude really did come up from nothing, won some incredible cases, and his platform is decently progressive. All my dirty hippies sing with me: “You can’t… always get… what you want… but if you try sometimes… you just might find… You get what you NEED!”
	It’s like a Mason-Dixon mirror.
	I do a pretty good vocal impression of Mira Sorvino, but I guess it’s not much use here.
	It pains me because I think Snape is the hottness. Brad Dourif — not since Alien Resurrection.
Doozer sticks and radishes are the new Atkins!
On a vaguely related note, does “kicking screaming gucci little piggy” really mean the Spice Girls?
	I can’t believe I hadn’t put this one up yet. These two may be the same person. You’d think SNL would get more mileage out of this.
	Only today have I realized that Dominique Swain is not the Orbit Gum Girl. I am so faced.
All three of these women bear resemblance to a friend of mine, although Brooke Burns has been edited for content in order to achieve this look. (To the tune of “Macho Man”:) Not your, not your no-o-o-ose! That snub nose… is not yo-our nose…

Casting Call 7 – This Modern Phenotype

Tory — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 01:23:33 +0000

Connections both obvious and random. Your mind. Will be blown. Plus a lot of rambling commentary.
I realize I can’t be the first person to notice this. Two big-eyed British vocal gods running around with the same teeth and chin? Why has no one written a musical around them yet?	I was desperately seeking a screencap of Lucy Lawless’ big glink smile from the Xena credits, but no luck. So here’s the one where she catches fish.
Another idea that didn’t come quite to fruition. These two look most alike in action, when they make similar raised-eyebrow faces. Dig it.
Can I order this as a sandwich?	How about this one?


	Oh, well, when he gets in please tell him to drink deep the bitter wacky irony!

Casting Call – Muppet Edition

Tory — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 01:22:13 +0000

Muppet Phenotypes
Dying of funny.

Casting Call – Cate vs. Tori

Tory — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 01:20:22 +0000

*Clone myself like Cate Blanchett who sings “Betty Davis Eyes”…*
Who is who? I dare you to distinguish.

Casting Call 6

Tory — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 01:19:13 +0000

Equal time for the less broody OC kids and more.




A study in aging well.
	A study in aging poorly.

Casting Call 5 – More Suggestions from Visitors

Tory — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 01:18:16 +0000

Y’all are a bubbling font of wackiness. Special emphasis here on the British and brattish.





	Owowoo I’m dying of pretty.