The Tory Party

Confuse-a-Man

Do you know what this is?

If so, there is at least a 50/50 chance you are a woman. (The answer’s in the image name.)

For a variety of reasons, I occasionally bring one of these to work. It stays hot for a while, so when I get back to my cube I leave it out a bit to cool off.

Two different men have noticed this thing and given it a lingering, inquisitive look, but said nothing.

It begins to dawn on me that a man would have no reason to know what the heck this is. It is not something commonly used by men, nor something that tends to cross the girlfriend barrier to enter a man’s domicile.

So if anyone gives it another lingering, inquisitive look, I will proudly proclaim its purpose, so that all may be peaceful.

Or maybe hurriedly hide it, as if it brings me great shame. I can’t decide which is funnier.

On a related note, if you know what this is, there is a possibility you may be a woman:

Death of Sexy: Well. Well, well, well.

I wish I had a picture of a Sexy Well costume for this post. Instead I have a link to some more unsexy sexy costumes. I will pretend they stole my idea, but some of these are not trying to be “sexy” costumes (the penguin) or costumes at all (the PETA bloody-woman-as-meat), so really these are just some weird pictures of women.

Like French Vogue, but seven bucks cheaper.

Anjoi!

Asylum.com: Is that sexy Halloween costume really sexy?

South Park: Psychic?

Season 11, Episode 4. “The Snuke”: Muslim student joins South Park/parody of “24″. Original air date 3/28/2007.

During a campaign stop in South Park, Hillary Clinton fakes a country accent and says:

“This is why I campaign in small towns like these. Because it is in towns like South Park the you find the true America!”

OK — just in case we forgot, Palin said in North Carolina the other week:

“We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America,” she told the crowd.

WHOA.

Did McCain/Palin take campaign notes from South Park? BECAUSE THAT WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT.

Hermann Mejia

Seriously. We have talked about this man.

If I told you I thought he was the greatest illustrator alive, would you call me mad?

OR NOT?

Random Thoughts — LA and iTunes Edition

• I wonder if Kiera Knightley ever gets tired of making that face. You know — like she’s smug? But about to whistle.
• “Quantum of Solace,” as a film title, offends me personally. It sounds like Fiona Apple lyrics.
• David Cook sounds like a cross between Mike Patton and the guy from Creed. Yes, I downloaded his latest single. And David Archuleta’s. And I like them. DO NOT JUDGE ME. If lovin’ Jordin Sparks is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
• The bridge of Christina Aguilera’s “Keeps Gettin’ Better”? Total cameo by Helper Bot. What is up with that? Can the Helper Bot effect be the square-wave of this decade? No, because…
• Square wave is still in effect, as on Kanye West’s “Love Lockdown.” Which rocks me PLAIN SOCKLESS.
• Britney Spears’ “Womanizer” is like if you mated the verse of The Turtles’ “Happy Together” with a complete lack of rhyming. In the hands of, say, Ludacris, you would get fifty infectious giggly “womanizer”-based rhymes. Alas, as it is you have this:
  
  Womanizer, woman, womanizer, you’re a womanizer
  Oh, womanizer, oh, you’re a womanizer, baby
  You, you, you are, you, you, you, are
  Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer
  

  LYRICIST FAIL.

• After a long work week, nothing props you up for punkin carving like sugar-free Red Bull and Seagram’s 7. Ah, I am a classy lassie.