The Tory Party

Random Thoughts, Biscuit Edition

Yeah.

• Ever fall asleep with the fan on and then have your mouth taste like burned biscuits all morning? No? No reason…

• Speaking of tongues — I think five is my limit of Ice Breaker Sours before they start to hurt. Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow.

• What does it mean, that out of all the ridiculousness in Wanted, my biggest problem was that the lead character Googles his name and gets no results? NONE. COME ON. There’s a whole GoogleSport dedicated to finding search terms with very few hit results. I think they would be duly impressed with a dude’s name that got ZERO. Much freakin’ funnier would have been 1) a bunch of genealogy links, or 2) an obscure geek who was still wildly more famous than he. When are they going to start giving me ALL scripts to rewrite?

• Rules of Thumb - Graphic Design:

  • Never draw what you can trace.
  • Never trace what you can cut out and paste down (or copy-paste, nowadays.)

  Rules of Thumb - Moving Furniture:

  • Never lift what you can drag.
  • Never drag what you can roll.

  Rules of Thumb - Staying on Budget

  • Never buy what you can borrow.
  • Never pay retail. Ever. Ever. Ever.