The Tory Party

Survey Says: BoobWatch 2007

Per a conversation about the MPAA/sex vs. violence/how rape is apparently more acceptable on prime time television than consensual sex, I pose the following:

What PG-13 movies in the last five years had boobs in them?

The last one I can think of offhand is Titanic, and that was 1997. They were everywhere in suitable-for-teens 80s movies - Back to School, Fast Times, Just One of the Guys, Weird Science (has NOT aged well, will get to racism in 80s comedies later). Now there’s a ‘tude like nice girls don’t take their tops off, and nice movies don’t let them.

But I’ve already ranted about it, and how I would rather expose my imaginary kids to forty boobs than one CSI:CBS’ Hour of Rape.

Boobs are good! They feed babies and Steinbeck characters! They are soft for resting of heads! They aid buoyancy! A hundred years ago the American boob was symbolic of a woman’s virtue and free to roam the artistic landscape — it was the filthy leg that could not even be spoken of. Body parts are only as offensive as we make them.

(I once heard Bill Maher debate the straw man that “boobs are like any other body part.” He was all like, “So instead of her shoulder I can go up to a woman and tap her on the boob?” NO. You can’t tap a man on the boob, either! Duh.)

I’m also a fan of man ass. Is anything more appealing and less threatening than a man’s rear end? We have a whole generation of teenage girls who have never used the term “buns.” This is a loss we cannot afford.

Boobs and butts, like health care and public schools, are the measure of a healthy society. FREE THE BOOBS. That is all.