The Tory Party

Reducing Jake’s Fear of Cameras

In fairness, Jake isn’t afraid of cameras. He’s afraid of the flash. So much so he used to leave the room when a cell phone came out, because one time I took a picture of him with a phone and it flashed.

Does not like lightning. Does not like flashlights. Does not like cameras.

Lately he’s been willing to be in the same room as a camera, as evidenced by the following photos of tragilarity.

Not loving it.

Nope.

Survey Says: BoobWatch 2007

Per a conversation about the MPAA/sex vs. violence/how rape is apparently more acceptable on prime time television than consensual sex, I pose the following:

What PG-13 movies in the last five years had boobs in them?

The last one I can think of offhand is Titanic, and that was 1997. They were everywhere in suitable-for-teens 80s movies – Back to School, Fast Times, Just One of the Guys, Weird Science (has NOT aged well, will get to racism in 80s comedies later). Now there’s a ‘tude like nice girls don’t take their tops off, and nice movies don’t let them.

But I’ve already ranted about it, and how I would rather expose my imaginary kids to forty boobs than one CSI:CBS’ Hour of Rape.

Boobs are good! They feed babies and Steinbeck characters! They are soft for resting of heads! They aid buoyancy! A hundred years ago the American boob was symbolic of a woman’s virtue and free to roam the artistic landscape — it was the filthy leg that could not even be spoken of. Body parts are only as offensive as we make them.

(I once heard Bill Maher debate the straw man that “boobs are like any other body part.” He was all like, “So instead of her shoulder I can go up to a woman and tap her on the boob?” NO. You can’t tap a man on the boob, either! Duh.)

I’m also a fan of man ass. Is anything more appealing and less threatening than a man’s rear end? We have a whole generation of teenage girls who have never used the term “buns.” This is a loss we cannot afford.

Boobs and butts, like health care and public schools, are the measure of a healthy society. FREE THE BOOBS. That is all.

Big Train

You need it in your life right now.

BBC Page. How can there be like, three links for this show and a skillion for “daleks”?

More to follow.

Old People Food

I got my first cantaloupe at ALDI the other day ($1.49, up from the $0.99 it was for a while) and I strongly approve. I think I shied away from them cause I thought they were hard to slice. I don’t know why I thought a melon that turns soft as a tomato after a week at room temperature was hard to cut, but I did.

Anyway.

I think I also shied away because I think of cantaloupe as old people food.

You know? How you associate some foods with old folks? I haven’t seen anybody under 70 enjoy:

• Fried fish
• Coffee-flavored ice cream
• Black licorice
• Jell-O with anything but fruit in it

Am I the only one with old people food connotations? What do you think?

Quotes of Rommel

Via Dad Hoke.

And just to be clear, NAZIS ARE BAD. But there is much to be learned from Rommel’s tactics.

“Sweat saves blood, blood saves lives, and brains save both.”

“Mortal danger is an effective antidote for fixed ideas.”

“The best form of welfare for the troops is first-rate training.”

“Don’t fight a battle if you don’t gain anything by winning.”

“In a man-to-man fight, the winner is he who has one more round in his magazine.”

“In the absence of orders, find something and kill it.”

Referring to Italians: “Good troops, bad officers. But remember that without them we wouldn’t have civilization.”

“Training errors are recorded on paper. Tactical errors are etched in stone.”

“There is one unalterable difference between a soldier and a civilian: the civilian never does more than he is paid to do.”

“Men are basically smart or dumb and lazy or ambitious. The dumb and ambitious ones are dangerous and I get rid of them. The dumb and lazy ones I give mundane duties. The smart ambitious ones I put on my staff. The smart and lazy ones I make my commanders.”

“Be an example to your men, in your duty and in private life. Never spare yourself, and let the troops see that you don’t in your endurance of fatigue and privation. Always be tactful and well-mannered and teach your subordinates to do the same. Avoid excessive sharpness or harshness of voice, which usually indicates the man who has shortcomings of his own to hide.”

[Ah ha ha hell yeah! My version of this would be a stage-whispered "no yelling!" - T]

“I know I haven’t offered you much; sand, heat, scorpions … but we’ve shared them together. One more last push, and it is Cairo. And if we fail, … well, we tried, … together.”