The Tory Party

Petey Puma, 29 Cent Friend

I was working produce at ALDI and saw a very bent cucumber. Who’s gonna use this poor guy? Can’t peel ‘em, can’t slice ‘em.

We carry Sharpies for making signs, and something in me told me I had to had to had to draw a face on this guy.

Left him in the cukes a while, but he kept looking at me. So I put him in my pocket. Harassed the cashiers with him.

And eventually bought him and took him home.

I can’t be gettin’ fired for cucumber faces. Too hard to explain in job interviews.