The Tory Party
Feminism, film, computers and cookies
Fake Names
Posted by Tory, May 28, 2005 on 8:00 pm | In Amusements |When I was a programmer, and had a lot of opportunities to enter fake data that couldn’t be unprofessional like “H. Jablome” because customers might end up seeing them, I developed a system of coming up with fake names. It is neither as entertaining as coming up with a porn name (first name: first pet; last name: street you grew up on, which makes me Blackie St. Mary’s and limits my target demographic), nor as topical as coming up with your Jedi name (not sure how or what mine is, but it’s something like Tojla OIwpewqqq), but still a good way to waste time.
Take a song named after a person. There’s your first name. Add the last name of the person who sings the song.
Wow, that was exciting. But you get good names this way — names that don’t sound too fake or weird. Sure, you have to skip Layla Clapton and Angie Jagger, but then you get:
- Veronica Costello
- Michelle McCartney
- Sara Balin
- Crazy Mary Williams
It’s tougher to make guys this way. I guess there’s Angry Johnny Poe, or Johnny Feelgood Phair, or Danny Boy Church, so there’s a cast for the next Elmore Leonard novel.
What can y`all come up with? If you don’t think this is too funny, there’s always this:
Ewwwww…
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The defense rests… Sherrie Perry.
Comment by Anonymous — December 31, 1969 #
Women like my sweet and salty nut bars…
Comment by F.A.Y. — December 31, 1969 #
I loves it. I loves it so!
Comment by Tory — December 31, 1969 #
Gloria Hewson, Louise John, Mary and Joe Phair, Adam and Eve DiFranco (and little Amazing Grace DiFranco) and the triplets: Emily, Kathy, and Cecilia Simon-Garfunkel
Comment by Cate — December 31, 1969 #
Miss Amanda Jones-Jagger. (Or Jones-Richards, whichever you prefer.)
Comment by Anonymous — December 31, 1969 #
Joey Napolitano! (Straight out of “The Sopranos,” no?”
Comment by Anonymous — December 31, 1969 #
porn name: Fluffy Harlem River Drive.
Comment by FAY — December 31, 1969 #
I got one! Mr. Brownstone Rose! Odd name, but if you add a hyphen it`s deliciously British! “Why hello, Mrs. Wigglesham! Where are you off to this fine afternoon?” “Tea with Mr. Brownstone-Rose.” “Why, I *love* the Brownstone-Roses! How is the Missus?” “Stone dead, I`m afraid. She was walking to Cheltenham and a chunk of brownstone fell from an apartment flat and, well…” “pwned!” “Quite.”
Comment by Anonymous — December 31, 1969 #
No rapture for me, I just can`t come up with any songs to contribute! This game is hard when you haven`t slept.
Comment by Anonymous — December 31, 1969 #
Notice lately that no one is commenting … perhaps the delay between posts has cost you readership. Or everyone else has been raptured up and you`re the only one left behind.
Comment by Angelyne Jayhawk — December 31, 1969 #