The Tory Party

J-Lo`s response to defeat

I still can’t believe Carole King beat J-Lo. I am traumatized. But I have to ask myself, What Would J-Lo Do?


10. Voice her silent protest with rump-shaking madness
9. Make up with P-Diddy
8. Shorten name to just an uneasy facial expression
7. Hire Babyface to write a song about it
6. Hire Gloria Estefan to write a song about it
5. Make a dance remix that sucks monkeys
4. Wear a thong to an award show and complain about being objectified
3. Get her earrings back from Nelly Furtado
2. Give to me my leather, take from me my lace
1. Grieve that she buried her acting talent like a tiny time capsule of doom