The Tory Party

Jay and Silent Bob

Dear Movies,

It has been a tough summer. I’ve managed to avoid full-on badness and had a pretty good time at the ones I did go to, and with only two weekends between now and Labor Day, I have almost made it safely to the other side without landing in front of a real stinker. I am grateful for “Shrek” and “The Others”, and I knew better than to try any free-range Jolie. I have been diligent and true, and in return I ask for the following of “Jay and Silent Bob.”

- Please let Ben Affleck apologize for his accent in “Pearl Harbor”.
- Please don’t be violent. I can’t concentrate when somebody is machine-gunning the wings off somebody else.
- Please be more funny than serious.
- Please have lots of Dushku. You know, for kids.
- Please let Chris Rock have the last word.