Perverts

My niece had another birthday! I tried to share some more knowledge with her.

Some have encouraged me to look for ways to get these published, which I will do as soon as I think of something to call them. This comic and more will be ready for sharing, as printed comics and videos, on December 1! Stop by MeddlingAuntie.com for updates!


Discussion (85)¬

  1. Mark Finn says:

    Not to be flip about it, but these would make excellent mini-comics, only published high end. And you could call the whole thing something cute like “Chick Tracts” (esp. if you published them in that long and wide format). This was really, really good. I think everyone reading this would like to see them in print. Hope you can make that happen soon.

  2. DJacoby says:

    I was with you until the bit about praying, lol

  3. Claire says:

    This is very good. I hope a lot (A LOT) of people read it.

  4. Nona says:

    how about u make one for the boys to teach them not to be sexual predators

    hth

  5. sewzinski says:

    I love this! It would be really nice if the forgiveness and praying part could be left out. Not everyone is religious, but hey, who am I to censor you. It was really done in such an easy to understand way. I feel like I just got schooled on perverts and I’m 31! Ha! I’ll be sharing this with friends for sure.

  6. Jackonaipod1233 says:

    You know not all guys are perverts. Girls can be perverts to.
    Also I think you should leave out the praying part

  7. Linnea says:

    Along the lines of the comments from Jacob V and john about offenders being friends/family, etc. . .your visual portrayal of the pervert makes his intentions very obvious and makes him very easy to spot. One of the things we fail to teach our children is that scary people aren’t always scary to look at. I wonder if you would consider changing the pervert’s look to be less, well, perverted.

  8. Matthew Brenner says:

    You have created as very powerful work here; thank you for sharing it with the world. As a former teacher who had to watch young women struggling at this age, I cannot stress enough how much this is needed and how well you have communicated what needs to be understood.

  9. mordicai says:

    Gosh, how much does it suck that you need to give this to a 12 year old? Stupid old world. Still, really good work, bravo. There is a huge need for this. Stupid old world.

  10. Eraserheader says:

    This was a personal work from an aunt to a niece, so if praying is part of a positive way to dealing with uneasy situations within -their- family, I don’t understand why it should be censored. Yes, saying to leave it out is censoring and there is a difference between censoring and being politically correct. So what if that panel differs from another reader’s view (my own included)? Diversity is a wonderful thing! :)

    With that off my chest, I want to say what an excellent comic, you are an amazing aunt, and thank you for talking about this issue!

  11. el bruce says:

    If you’re hung up on the prayer bit, don’t be. The key word is forgiveness. When you forgive someone, you let go of all the negative emotions, freeing yourself from feelings like hate and guilt. Prayer is one way of doing so.

    BTW, this page is so awesome I’m emailing the URL to myself for when my daughter turns 12 (hopefully I’ll remember doing so).

    And honestly, has believing in a God become such a plague that you can’t mention prayer without it distorting the whole conversation? Show some tolerance.

  12. MrsBynum says:

    Thank you! GREAT JOB!!! I, too, would love to see more messages like this. Okay, some have concerns with “pray”, but the idea is to reach as many as you can. We have to realize many believe in prayer, so let’s reach them. And let’s get more messages out to reach those who would not stay with this message due to the “prayer” comment. THANK YOU, again!!!

  13. Rebecca says:

    This is really wonderful – wish someone had shown me this when I was 12, too.

  14. Mitch Black says:

    How wonderful that Aunt Tory took the time to create this important message for her niece, and that she has allowed all of us to share it with the young people we love. It is amazing to me that she took the time, we all need to remember that the time we spend with the people we love is the most precious gift of all.

  15. icarus says:

    man. i wish someone had sent me a comic like this when i was younger. i could have used it, and wouldn’t have spent so much time feeling guilty. (it didn’t help that the pervert i delt with was an online pervert, and started talking to my friends after they were done with me.)

  16. Tory says:

    I can’t believe it didn’t occur to me to include online perverts. I will include them in an expanded version.

    Thank you so much for your visits and comments, everyone! I am working on getting this and other advice comics printed. I will keep everyone up to date.

  17. Rachel says:

    Tory, this is so great! I shared with my co-workers. Cant wait to see more!!

  18. Thank you so much for writing this. I have a four-year old daughter, and it’s so hard to know what the right balance is between protecting your kid’s innocence and giving them the tools they need to cope with the kind of shit they will have to struggle with. You’ve managed to walk that line perfectly and address the topic without making it seem overwhelming or scary. I’m going to save this and show it to my daughter when she’s a bit older.

  19. Gil Villarreal says:

    Tory, thanks for sharing this thoughtful and caring interaction between you and your niece. It is encouraging to see your open and honest sharing of this tragic aspect of so many of our lives, and the healing that can come from the simple act of forgiveness.

    My wife and I are raising three boys (17,6,3) and recognize the importance of modeling and teaching mutual respect for both women and men as an integral part of their moral and social development. We encourage you to continue in your efforts to teach these valuable life lessons through your art and not to be discouraged by those that do not understand the importance of our spirituality and the role that prayer plays in that aspect of a balanced life.

    Stand firm in your convictions. Cheers!

  20. Wade says:

    Text: “Most men and boys are not perverts.”

    Translation: “But all perverts are men or boys.”

    You fail. Go back and try again.

  21. Dan says:

    Taking the “forgiveness” goal one step further: maybe it’s not most helpful to use the “pervert” label at all. I have no problem calling _behavior_ perverted, but to label a _person_ as a pervert may make forgiveness more difficult. Moreover, if dealing with bad behavior is framed in terms of labeling someone as a “pervert,” coping is harder if the perpetrator is someone otherwise respected. I think it’s better to focus on the behavior, not classifying the person.

  22. Dave B says:

    I am aware that most perverts are men …but not all perverts are men…

    I wont go round the houses with this but i have met women and men who had experienced abuse from women when they were children …your message might imply that its not an issue because only men can abuse or are perverts…think its always better to talk about the behaviour rather than gender then these people will also see whats happened to them is also a serious issue….i thought we’d moved on from highlighting men as sole perpetrators of abuse…domestic abuse and gender based violence for example….like i said i know that most abuse is commited by men…but lets not forget the minority of people out there who have experienced abuse from women….their experiences are also a seriouse issue

  23. Shawna says:

    This was awesome, and I wish I’d had someone to tell me these things when I was your niece’s age, it would have saved me a lot of hassle later on in life.
    And don’t listen to people who are trying to make you feel bad for writing this.
    They’re just jealous that you wrote something so succinct, to the point, clear and understandable, and illustrated it so well. They can’t do that, so they’d rather whine about how your message didn’t apply to them, try to make you feel guilty for expressing your beliefs, or complain that you didn’t address an issue they found more important than what you chose to write about…anything’s better than admitting you’re better than them. Keep it up!

  24. -kel says:

    This is such a nice piece. I agree with all above who commented on the great style and presentation–it’s easy to overwhelm a child with grownup issues while trying to teach them to protect themselves, and you’ve presented it just right in my opinion. Love that you shared your own experience and your mom’s so she would know she’s not alone. Could have used it in my young life, and it’s reaching my inner child and helping her, too! (I’m 35) This is a life-long dialog to have with your kids–starting younger than you think because perverted behavior is no respecter of age or innocence. My folks started with the bully angle–”no one should do things to you without your consent, has anyone ever tried? It’s not about you, it’s about their own need for power.” Not an organized pray-er, but love the forgiveness angle. Forgiveness isn’t about the other person, it’s about freeing yourself from the action that hurt you. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves that allows us to move on. I think praying for someone who hurts us and trying to forgive them is the best possible action (after we listen to our gut, make a fuss, tell someone, and talk about how we feel). It also frees us from vengeance or “sinking to their level.” Whether we think of it as ‘meditation’ or just talking and listening to our inner selves, prayer can’t hurt and might help. Thank you so much for sharing this, Tory! You’re a wonderful aunt and a very cool person! As to the “some women are perverts too” and “scary people don’t always look scary on the outside” angles–perhaps more comics? Also love that you’re adding online perverts. Your comics are great!

  25. Nathan K says:

    Brilliant advice, I love the drawings! Nothing wrong with calling a thing by its name. As someone who has experienced sexual abuse first hand, this really speaks to me. Call out your power!

  26. Lee says:

    As a first draft, this is terrific! You’ve hit a lot of the points that need to be made. Several of the ones you’ve missed have been pointed out in the comments, so I won’t reiterate those. However, I think you could improve this a bit further by acknowledging that the pervert may very well *be* someone you know and are supposed to trust — a family member, a teacher, a family friend, an authority figure — and that this doesn’t make it right, but it *will* make it a lot harder to get people to believe you when you tell. And that there are an awful lot of people whose first response, under ANY circumstances, will be to blame you in some way.

    And, sadly, this advice comes much too late for a lot of girls, if you’re waiting until they reach age 12 to give it.

    (On a cheerier note, I love your little surprise down at the bottom of the page!)

  27. Nita McNulty says:

    This is awesome. I have been teaching 30 years at all levels and the best thing I have ever told my students 6-12 grade, is that if someone has done something sexual to you IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT… If your parents divorce…IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT…etc…IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT…Feelings of guilt make a person do many self distructive things to avoid that feeling. I have had many students come back over the years and tell me how powerful that talk was for them. When they realized that there was not something wrong with them, then they felt better about themselves and let the feelings of guilt go…Glad to see these cartoons, it would be great if they continued on …

  28. Amy says:

    I LOVE this. Thank you so much for sharing it.

  29. Caramello says:

    I really like this, I’m 25 now and I’ve only just learned some of this, really. Might show it to my niece too!

  30. Tory says:

    I’ve been working on getting this and other “Meddling Auntie” comics ready for release. Keep up with “Perverts” and more at meddlingauntie.com!

  31. Libby says:

    They should pass this out at middle and high schools. Great stuff.

  32. Anonymous says:

    This works for both men and women. I’m a boy and I’ve had my run-ins with perverts, too.

  33. Shushkabib says:

    At the latest, women will be forced to encounter perverts and their disgusting penises around the same time they are allowed to walk anywhere by themselves. It’s sad.

    Great comic.

  34. Dave says:

    This isn’t just for girls. Guys are preyed upon as well. Sexual aggression isn’t funny even if the perpetrator acts like it’s a joke.

  35. Tory says:

    Dave – sadly, you are exactly right. Someday I’d like to do another comic to explore that subject.

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