A couple of years ago I went through a backscatter — in St. Louis, I think? I didn’t know what it was. I thought it was just some kind of super metal detector. I had no idea it took weird semi-naked pictures:

Later, when I saw the kind of pictures it makes, I felt creeped out. Not particularly because a TSA employee saw a naked picture of me — one or more did, but I believe even the most die-hard pervert would soon be bored to madness doing this job. Not particularly because those images can be leaked into the world — they can, but it’s unlikely, and it’s hard to identify anyone’s face.

I felt creeped out because I didn’t know what a backscatter was and I stepped into it anyway.

For me, a backscatter is riiiight about the time to start asking what kind of search constitutes “unreasonable” (that’s the Fourth Amendment, holla if you love it!), and I didn’t know that when I stepped into it. I blindly did something I would not have done if I’d known better.

That’s a bad feeling. I don’t want it again.

So when I flew out of O’Hare in August I opted out of their backscatter screening.

The TSA agents at O’Hare were super nice and responded quickly. I got a nice, benign pat-down in the security line. I triggered their test for chemicals on the clothes. So I got another nice, benign pat-down from another agent, and then I was cleared for departure.

No problem.

Now I hear TSA is changing their pat-down guidelines. (Note the pilot and flight attendant unions oppose the backscatter procedure because it means a dozen X-rays every workday, which could be hazardous to their health.)

According to travelers, the new guidelines are more intimate. Genital contact. Front of the hands. Funny thing is, I don’t hear what they are from TSA. I can’t find the new guidelines anywhere on TSA’s site — first person who finds them at TSA.gov gets a prize.

They are alluded to in this post from TSA’s Blogger Bob. Note that Blogger Bob says “it’s worth mentioning that only a small percentage of passengers end up needing a pat-down.” He fails to mention, though, patted passengers include 100% of those who opt out of the backscatter.

I finally found actual information about the new guidelines at ACLU’s website:

Option: Ask not to go through this scanner

You can tell the TSA agent that you do not wish to go through the scanner. TSA agents are required under TSA policy to honor your request, but might try to encourage or pressure you to go through anyway. To be as clear as possible, say, “I opt out.” If you opt out, you will be subject to a “standard pat-down.”

You also have the right to opt your children out of the scan.

Know Your Options at the Airport

The whole page is worth a read, and after reading it, I felt much more comfortable. I don’t even know if LAX will use a backscatter at my terminal, or what the rules will be by the time I fly out December 22. In fact, TSA tells me to expect the unexpected:

Passengers should continue to expect an unpredictable mix of security layers that include explosives trace detection, advanced imaging technology, canine teams, among others.

October 28: TSA Statement on New Pat-down Procedures

But no matter what the procedures are, I feel confident and prepared to make the choice that is right for me.

So whether you prefer the backscatter or the pat-down, let the choice be YOURS! Not TSA’s, not mine, not anyone else’s. Yours. Your informed decision. That’s patriotic as an eagle with Adrian Pasdar’s haircut.

You have enough to worry about over the holidays: Did you leave the bathroom light on? Will you eat too much pie? Those are superior holiday questions.

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Some other notes:

- If I do stuff like mail my presents home in advance (so I don’t have a checked bag to worry about), or minimize my carry-on (so I don’t lose track of it if I disappear into security), I will look like exactly the kind of weirdo risky passenger that SHOULD be pulled aside.

- If I dress in fitted clothing, like running tights, to show I have nothing to hide, it may seem like the only reason I don’t want to step in a revealing backscatter is because I DO have something to hide.

OW MY IRONIES.

–UPDATE 11/15–

Did you know this happened in 2004 as well? I didn’t.

Many Women Say Airport Pat-Downs Are a Humiliation – Nov 23, 2004

Apparently resistance from passengers beat back the procedures. We can do it again.